coining conan

Had our last class discussion today, on Conan O' Brien's Harvard commencement speech last 2000, to cap the reflection/memoir-writing module. My points were just about how awareness of one's audience and how the use of humor can invigorate any piece of writing, especially one that is autobiographical, which may tend to be excessively self-absorbed and masturbatory.

But I couldn't resist one last potshot. I asked volunteers to read out specific paragraphs and to replace the word "Harvard" with "the Ateneo." For example:

So what can you expect out there in the real world? Let me tell you. As you leave these gates and re-enter society, one thing is certain: Everyone out there is going to hate you. Never tell anyone in a roadside diner that you went to [the Ateneo]. In most situations the correct response to where did you go to school is, "School? Why, I never had much in the way of book larnin' and such." Then, get in your BMW and get the hell out of there.

You see, you're in for a lifetime of "And you went to [the Ateneo]?" Accidentally give the wrong amount of change in a transaction and it's, "And you went to [the Ateneo]?" Ask the guy at the hardware store how these jumper cables work and hear, "And you went to [the Ateneo]?" Forget just once that your underwear goes inside your pants and it's "and you went to [the Ateneo]." Get your head stuck in your niece's dollhouse because you wanted to see what it was like to be a giant and it's "Uncle Conan, you went to [the Ateneo]!?"

[...]

I've dwelled on my failures today because, as graduates of [the Ateneo], your biggest liability is your need to succeed. Your need to always find yourself on the sweet side of the bell curve. Because success is a lot like a bright, white tuxedo. You feel terrific when you get it, but then you're desperately afraid of getting it dirty, of spoiling it in any way.

I left the cocoon of [the Ateneo], I left the cocoon of Saturday Night Live, I left the cocoon of The Simpsons. And each time it was bruising and tumultuous. And yet, every failure was freeing, and today I'm as nostalgic for the bad as I am for the good.

So, that's what I wish for all of you: the bad as well as the good. Fall down, make a mess, break something occasionally. And remember that the story is never over.

I wish I was lucky enough to have to sit through such an ironic, entertaining, and ultimately truthful speech. How refreshing to be told that failure is freeing, that it's necessary to break out of your cocoons, that the world does not owe you any favors just because you graduated from a top university. We had a nice discussion about the fallacy that all Ateneans are privileged and apathetic, about reverse elitism in the workplace, about the changing attitudes towards (and of) people who choose to work in call centers after graduating. My students are sophomores; they still have some years to go before really wading through these realities and stumbling (if at all) on their roads to success/self-definition/ambition.

I wonder how my friends from college really are. (I remember how mock-insulted we acted when another friend/ex introduced us to his new girlfriend as his "college friends." Now I understand. I only have one strong link to this barkada; otherwise, I'm just an egroup lurker.) I think one of them, an excellent and funny writer, is accepting a call center job after one year at a publishing company and a supershort (truncated, actually) stint teaching high school. Another, a talented actor/director/singer is having his first solo show in his hometown, complete with press con and posters. And one, a brilliant guitarist, quit the band scene to do graphic design for a company that now sends him to Hong Kong occasionally. Such different lives we lead. And only two years ago, we were moaning about unemployment woes and the so-called "quarterlife crisis" and our collective meandering.

And yes, being the self-absorbed blogger that I am, everything must return to the subject of me. My third semester of teaching is about to end, making me ask again if this is what I really want to be doing for the rest of my life. And, as always, I will postpone answering this until I'm done with my MA. 12 units down, many more (papers) to go!