Since my last blog entry, I . . . (Part 2: Cinemania)

. . . have watched the following movies for the first time:

- 2046 --- whose beautiful cinematography (with all those shots in enclosed rooms, corridors, alleys, and a cramped veranda) made me feel claustrophobic (in a good, empathic way) and as constrained as the characters. As in In the Mood For Love, there were lingering shots of grimy streetlamps in the rain, and silky cigarette smoke curling up towards a sky we can't see. I like the fact that it ends with the image of the hole the film begins with, but with the camera zooming in as if we, the viewers, were being asked to whisper our own secrets into it. This movie affected me more than I cared to say, making me think about whether love is merely a matter of timing, about people I know who let themselves be enslaved by memories of past loves that they seek substitutes or endless repetitions doomed to fail, and about whether I at this point in my life can finally write happy endings. A week after watching, Larry quipped that I must be one of the few girls who can identify with Tony Leung's character. Er, umm. No comment.

- Santa Santita --- which I set out wanting to like, but whose plot loopholes, black-and-white spirituality, and unbelievable wardrobe changes disappointed me. And it reminded me too much of BJ's magdadasal story from the UP workshop. Jericho Rosales' dragon tattoo did provide me with several minutes' amusement.

- Bridget Jones 2 --- the sequel just rehashes the self-deprecating jokes (like that butt close-up on TV) that made the first one so successful. The scenes that are new (like Bridget's converting an entire prison cell of Thai women into Madonna "Like a Virgin" wannabes) quickly turn ridiculous.

- The Red Shoes --- a dragging 1948 film about a dancer who throws herself off a balcony and onto a train when forced to choose between ballet and love. Think Anna Karenina (death by train) meets Center Stage (with better ballet scenes minus the teen angst) meets Friday the 13th (red toe shoes with a mind of their own).

- My Sassy Girl --- I didn't know whether to cheer or sneer at the Korean film's schizophrenia (the first part is almost slapstick-funny; the second, nostalgic; and the epilogue, a bit too neat for comfort) but decided to go for the former, having been won over by the charming ending. "Know what fate is? Building a bridge of chance for the one you love."

- Happiness --- I'd watch anything with Philip Seymour Hoffman in it; he plays the most endearing pathetic characters.

- Crash --- Cars and sex. Makes me want to read J. G. Ballard's novel.

- A.I. --- Jude Law as a sex robot? Wow.

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. . . rewatched the following movies:

- The Story of Us --- one of my favorite romantic dramas, despite it starring Bruce Willis, whose smug-smirk-acting I usually can't stand. As my brother says, "it hits too close to home." ("People are at 80 who they are at 8!")

- The Hours --- which I watched twice in a row in May 2003. Now it's Meryl Streep's character who grips me: "If you say to me, tell me the moment you were happiest . . . I remember getting up at dawn. There was such a sense of possibility. I thought, this is the beginning of happiness, and of course, there will always be more. It didn't occur to me, it wasn't the beginning. It WAS happiness. It was that moment, right there."

- Love Actually --- because it IS fun sqeezing that annoying extra syllable into the line: "Christmas is all around me"

- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind --- My favorite film of the year (along with Before Sunset and 2046---all three of which explore memory, longing, repetition and beginning). I love this so much I'd like to get the screenplay. "Blessed are the forgetful for they get the better even of their blunders."--Nietzsche

- Practical Magic --- yes, yes, it IS the film I've seen the most number of times, much to my chagrin. "Sometimes I feel there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear you could probably hear the ocean. . . . Sometimes when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. Maybe I've had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but there's no man. Only that moon."

- Kieslowski's Blue, White, and Red --- Red is still my favorite. Though the music and the sugarcube-scene in Blue still blow me away.

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. . . watched the entire first season of Six Feet Under, thanks to Ning. I used to watch this with my mother every Tuesday night, and we'd grow quiet during the mother-daughter scenes because she obviously identifies with Ruth (minus the Russian lovers) and I obviously identify with Claire (minus the foot-stealing tendencies).

One (non-mother-daughter) scene that tugged at me was with Gabe and Claire, in her cool, lime green hearse. They were coaxing their fears out of each other. She blurts out, "I'm afraid that you'll just disappear." After making light of it, he admits, in a rare moment of honesty, "I'm scared that you are too good for me."

Fear of abandonment and unworthiness. Twin issues I dealt with this year, hopefully successfully.

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